It’s Who I Am

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I’m a stress case.

You ask me why I’m so stressed. Is it a rhetorical question? Before I can utter a word you respond with “You have nothing to worry about.”

You don’t even know. Worry. I torment myself daily with a million things. And you wonder why I’m stressed?

I’m not a laid back person. I never have been. I don’t just “go with the flow”. I’m always on edge; Type-A. I can’t help it. I try not to be.

It’s who I am.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Motherhood is something I dreamt of since I can remember. I wouldn’t change my new status, not ever, but I’m getting used to these new shoes. Since having Lovebug, I view things a lot differently. I am a mother, now.

This new role has me waking with thoughts about my daughter, everything I do during the day is for her and about her, and I fall asleep at night worrying what the next day will bring. It’s 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Today, this very moment in life, I worry. Of course, why should today be any different? At the moment I knew I’d conceived, my heart filled with worry. I will worry till I die.

It’s who I am.

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