Another post from my drafts… man am I chicken? I’m often said to be divulging my experiences candidly and yet some of my thoughts are shrouded in secrecy? Marked as draft, my posts lie in wait for me to hit the publish button.
Publish button initiated.
In our single, living together days we were the couple who hosted parties. Single friends gathered until the early hours of the morning. Some even woke from a drunken stuper on our couch the next afternoon; not quite my idea of fun times. Rousing from our carefree whimsy, we knew the time was right to get married and turn our twosome into three.
After two years of marriage, and lots of practice–hehe–we were blessed with Lovebug. Thrilled, we kind of expected everyone else would be too. Parents-to-be, we couldn’t carry on partying, but we weren’t dead either. I’m sure you’ve heard of a little thing called fetal alcohol syndrome? But just because I wasn’t out drinking didn’t mean I couldn’t still have a good time. To me, life isn’t all about cocktails.
My pregnancy was awesome. You hear lots of women complain and say they want to get it over with, but I LOVED being pregnant; it agreed with me. Yeah, in the beginning I had some morning, noon, and night sickness–about 4 weeks of it–but big deal. It was totally worth it. I went about my normal activities which included going out to bars–as the DD. I didn’t party my a$$ off, of course, but I could still hang out and have a good time. I knew once the baby arrived I’d be out of the bar scene for some time. So, I enjoyed my single, childless friends while it lasted.
While it lasted, indeed. Single, baby-free friends were suddenly a thing of the past once Lovebug joined our family. They dropped like flies. It was to be expected… somewhat. I can honestly say I tried to salvage the relationships, but what do we have in common now? And we’re certainly not hanging out in bars (you all know the story of Lovebug refusing the bottle.)
Though we’re still friends–okay, maybe it’s turned into acquaintances–with many of our single, child-free cohorts, we’re reduced to a facebook shout out, text messages, or a phone call if we’re really lucky.
Sometimes it saddens me, but I understand that we’re on different paths. I hesitate to say it, but maybe some friends are meant to come in and go out of your life? If we’re following the fourth definition of dictionary.com they refer to a friend as “a member of the same nation, party, etc.” If this is true, then we can hardly say we’re members of the same group, anymore.
I can’t say I don’t miss them. My life is better for having known them and I’m shaped by my experiences with them. I wouldn’t change my course, but if I could, I’d merge my then life with my new existence. I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it to, but I’m not sure why. Until then, I’ll enjoy my party of three!